A little bit of everything
Recently, I learned about walking depression. For months I walked around with an indifferent attitude towards everything and everyone. It wasn't an "I don't care" attitude. It was a "I feel nothing...sorry?" type of thing. At times, when I was home, I would tear up without provocation. I felt sad and unmotivated. Fun activities weren't stimulating and yet I looked content to everyone. I smiled at work. I laughed with good friends. Now, the indifference has turned to annoyance. Everything and everyone bothers me to no end. The worst is dwelling thoughts. Not just dwelling...racing. The non-stop arguing in my head. Telling people what's really on my mind and not actually telling them face to face. Sometimes I try to shoo the thoughts away, trying to think positively. Other times, I let them flow so the anger and frustration can be expressed freely. And despite plenty of rest, my energy is low, very low.
I tend to draw my series "Gina the Ballerina" when I'm feeling very down. I've tried journaling my thoughts, but it feels silly. The urge to draw usually happens when I lack the motivation to get up out of bed and I don't know whether the drawings resonate with people or what, but a few seem to like it.
It's hard to believe such beautiful scenery like this can be in the heart of a bustling city. When atop a hill overlooking an ocean of green, one cannot see the edge of lush greenery and the beginning of an urban area. This trail is long...nearly 8 miles. I suggest going with someone who is familiar with the trail; otherwise, you run the risk of getting lost and ending up in someone's backyard as was the case with me last weekend. It's perfect for biking, hiking, climbing, and swimming. I'm looking forward to going back.
My name is Gina. I'm a freelance photographer living in Houston, TX. Feel free to stay awhile.
Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful. - Sophia Loren
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