Dealing with a mental disorder is a roller coaster of emotions and intensity. At the time that I was diagnosed with several anxiety disorders, depression was ruled out. However, that was nearly ten years ago and what I feel now can only be described as mild depression at the least.
At first, I would get the blues periodically. And then, around a year or so ago, I started getting annoyed. Very annoyed...and mad. How can people be so happy? Stop laughing! I hate your face. I hate everything. Go away, move!
And now it's gotten to the point where the sadness is crippling. I've cried four times in two days. Two of those times at work. I sleep more than usual to pass the time. I've rescheduled or canceled outings just because I cannot muster the energy to fake happy. Actually, at this point it's very evident on my face. I really just don't want to hear "What's wrong? Are you ok?"
Searching for ways to manage symptoms is even more frustrating.
There's no juice left in the tank.